Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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