Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
