Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
