This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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