I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
