Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
