Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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