dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
