butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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