I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
