My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The Olympian is in my bed
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
