Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
