and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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