My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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