so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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