OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
