So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
