The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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