I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it's like iHOP with fire
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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