this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
