I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
