Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize