I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
