it glows. i had to have it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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