singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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