i jhust puked up my retainher.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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