i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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