By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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