I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wear drunk well.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
