The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
