so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
