She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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