sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
