using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
