i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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