The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
