dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Randomize
