I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
