just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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