I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
