if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
