my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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