Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We named our party play list daddy issues
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
