i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
