did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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