her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
