her vagine was all disorganized.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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