I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
