it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
