she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I didn't notice because vodka
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
