All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
